On the Seashore

Waves crashed against the rock, and he had to close his eyes, at the assault of few  enthusiastic droplets of water that kissed his face now.

Perched on the top of the rock at the north of the beach, he looked at the horizon where the Sea met sky.

When he was a child he remembered believing in the illusion he saw. Watching the meeting point of sky and sea and the distant ships, and wondering why those ships went out of sight then, and answering himself that they traveled to an adventure land. How ironic it was that, he still didn’t grow from that child and yet believed in illusions. Illusions that would always be just that; illusions.

A nasty wave crashed with the mossy rock, making the salty water touch his skin again. This time when he closed his eyes, he didn’t listen to the whispering wind. Rather, he heard a voice. Her voice.

“Gautam”

The voice. Surly sometimes, sweet sometimes, childish sometimes, it was a voice he came to recognize, with every fiber of his body.

“Look at him, ignoring a 5 feet 6 inches lady. I tell you he’s a dolt” he heard her speak to the pup she adored, while cooking in Kitchen this morning.

Hiding himself so that he wouldn’t be in the line of her vision, he saw her talk to her pet, and complain about him, and watched her back that faced him with softened eyes.

Anu.

The whisper on his lips died before it could be heard.

He saw her still the spatula in her hand and moved back just in time before he could be caught staring.

He was not seen, and he was grateful that she was distracted soon after by a sound in kitchen, which he guessed was her Pup’s doing.

He had a chance to get away out of the house, before he could be noticed, like he was doing every morning. Leaving the place before she woke up, returning after she went to sleep, waiting for him in living room.

The guilt he thought he got over with, came back to him manifold when he watched her profile from the window as he stepped out of the house.

The searching eyes, her eyes were an answer to all the questions he couldn’t dare ask.

“For a moment there,” he heard her mumble and close her eyes for a deep breath.

I thought he was watching. Gautam.” her words were a mere whisper now as she touched her pup and stroked it behind the ear.

“Did I fall too hard Max?”

For some reason, it sounded more of a confession than a question. And that was his undoing.

He walked to his car then, unmindful of his hand that was curled around his briefcase.

As he watched the evening sky turn ink blue, he heard her voice in his head again.

“Did I fall too hard Max?”

He could still see her profile. Those always shining eyes, that were now downcast, her shoulders stooping, the Cream colored Jari bordered Sari adorning her silky skin glowing around her like golden mist. Her curly hair, wet with earlier wash, leaving trails of water droplets on her blouse.

How he wished he could have walked into the kitchen then instead of walking out.

How many times had he wished to go to her, than away from her.

Just how many times had his hands extended to wake up her sleeping form at the dining table, every time he reached home late at night.

How many times had his fingers itched to remove her curly mane that often teased her face when she was mixing flour to make an evening snack.

How he wished, he would stop punishing her, a woman who had entered his life with millions of dreams and hoping for love and happiness. A woman who was now a part of his life, if not by his choice but for the rest of the world.

How he wished he were a different person, a person who would love her, cherish her the way she deserved to be. How he wished he could fulfill all her dreams, and be a part of her laughter.

How he wished, he could love her the way she loved him.

How he wished he could accept the relationship they were tied in.

Wife.

She was his wife. In the eyes of the society. If not for him. Was it so difficult to accept it? Accept her?

The starting of tiny droplets of rain disturbed him out of his musings as he blinked and looked heavenwards. When his gaze flitted back to the sea, he couldn’t see the horizon anymore, dark as it had become. He got up from the rock, took his blazer, and shoes and made way to his car, parked at a distance, as the rain picked up.

As he had got behind the wheels, he closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to concentrate on that voice once. The voice of the girl he had loved. The voice of that woman who had marked his life, that woman whom he could never be replaced by any other woman, not even his wife.

As the pelting droplets of the rain touched the windows of the car, he realized, the voice in his head was being faded down slowly.

It wasn’t real anymore, and he wasn’t sure what has been suppressing the voice in his head? The wheezing wind, or the voice of another woman, his wife?

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17 thoughts on “On the Seashore

  1. Another beautiful story….i was just surfing the india forum sites when i saw this new post of yours and i straight away came here for i had to comment….very beautifully you expressed the feelings of a man who is caught up between his new found attraction or love and the first love which his conscience will not allow him to let go..so maan just wants to be near geet yet cannot allow himself to do so..you know what the bet thinhg is reading your stories gives the visualisation effect as well. The whole background of him sitting at the sea shore ..and in a thought process i thought i was seeing him. The ending was a kind of beginning itself.. The voice of his “former lady love” drowning…so he was yet to realize that it was his wife’s voice that had started carving its place in his head as well as heart. So is he as well falling to hard for his wife bratty???

    You say that it is a part of a story u r working upon so can we expect another marvellous work from ur side..plz…plz..if u r planning do bless us with that piece of that work because honestly its a treat reading ur stories . U r an amazing writer. I personally wont want to miss any work frm ur side.

    1. That was one long heart warming comment. Thank you!
      Falling for her, well that is a rhetorical question now isn’t it?
      😀
      Yes it is an excerpt from another story, and yes I do want to continue but sadly, not now. I have to complete web of love before I start any other FF 😀

  2. Hey …i m so sorry i didnt see the names of the characters here i read it there and had come to comment here ….so its anu and gautam here….i hope u dont mind …it was done unintentionally after i had posted my comment i began to read the story again then i saw the change in names there.:|

    1. It’s okay I don’t mind a bit. For me they would always be him and her more :
      I thought to let them be Maan Geet initially but then it would come up with a by default bias towards Geet more, and unknown hatred for the other girl. I know anyone can’t help it. Had I been a reader, I would have felt the same too. So anyway yes I don’t feel a bit bad. After all what’s in a name?

    2. Ya….i know that by default hatred does come in and by this u remind me of ur another work the unheard tales of an antagonist …..and there reading the few chapters u ve penned down however hard one may want one cannot outrightly hate the antagonist . After all it is the situation and the opinion that makes one antagonist or the protagonist .every protagonist is an antagonist of somebody else’s story u see.

      1. Well said. One isn’t an antagonist or protagonist on a whole. We all are everything, sidekicks, protagonists, and antagonists at various instances of our life. Depends on which story is running 🙂

  3. Just a question ..you started the story with him believing in illusions….since he was a child how is this thing connected to the story it couldnt be written like that there must be some reason ..i know its a little stupid to ask but i really want to know…if u get tym do answer….!:)

    1. Hmm. That was a nice observation. Illusion here referred to him promising himself somethings, and believing he could do it. The man is fighting with himself at the moment, and it is all but a part that would answer your question.

      For in depth answer, I am afraid you should know more about him first.

      1. Thanx for the answer..so i need to more about him first and that will be only possible when u give me that opportunity to know him more. I am so greedy u know i want to ur stories never to end :p. U gave the teaser of wol and dont show any signs of updating it:( had it not been for finally found beautiful chapter not to forget the ever so lovely kiss how would have i survived;)”main toh mar hi jaati tumhare updates ke bina” a little dramatic see what ur stories do to me.:)

      2. Haha. Smart.

        You will get to know him soon enough. I think.
        Apologies for WOL. Exams are around the corner so can’t work on it. Finally found you is easy to write. WOL is comparatively tough and need me to bang my head against the wall first. I like dramagiri. I am called DQ for a reason 😉

      1. Hmm…dramaqueen so i guess we have chances of becoming frds u see.. And dont worry we can wait till u get the updates done nd morever exams r more important (cliked lines u see almost everyone is gonna say this once u give this reason:p) all d best for exams. And will be waiting fr ur updates . Even i have my entrances( medical) nd ur updtes are my source of entertainment in this world of books .

  4. It was nice talking to u !! Good nite( hope we follow the same timings :D) and take care and keep writing as well. All d best for all ur future projects!:)

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